The feeling of not know what is coming. The worry over old duties. The difficulty outlining new things. Anxiety. Stress.
At Key Changes Music Therapy Services, we work with our clients day in and day out on adjusting to and coping with transitions, but when those transitions hit our own lives, we still face a learning curve. Since none of us live lives unaffected by transition, it is one of those things that we get to experience along with each of our clients.
Last week, I found myself standing at reception, trying to think of what I needed to do. I have just under a month of work left until I begin my maternity leave. I realized then that I have effectively prepared my company procedures and my staff to operate without my physical presence.
The realization left me feeling a bit scared. If my company can run without me, what good am I? If it isn’t necessary for me to be in the office all the time, who is going to be the face of my business? How is it possible that my little company has grown to where I can stop seeing patients and our doors not be closed?
These questions (and others besides) resulted in a weight of anxiety sitting on my chest until I started writing this post. I had somehow modified my entire role in KCMTS without realizing it. And I had done it well. My transition into a somewhat capable transitioner was complete. Now all that was left was to execute my transition from active in the office Director, to patiently waiting mama to be/new mama.
What have I done to deal with this anxiety?
- Repeatedly told myself that being anxious about doing a good job is silly. How to combat negative and worrisome self talk? Manufacture positive self talk until it becomes automatic!
- Gone through and double checked my systems. I’m working on the agenda for our last pre-leave staff meeting. While it may look a bit intimidating to my staff ( 😉 ), it’s giving me peace of mind. This lets me be a bit obsessive and feel like I’m accomplishing something while simultaneously error checking so that there will be less to worry about when I’m on leave.
- Taken a good ten to fifteen minutes of each day, during work hours, to get genuinely, fully, no holds excited about what the future holds. Important point? I do not permit business thoughts to enter in.
Key Changes has been my first experience of motherhood. This company is a baby of another form. Now, as I enter into human life form motherhood, I hope that I can do as good of a job preparing this child for independence as I have done KCMTS.